Summer 2009
by mikeandliz45
Summary: A crazy version we wrote about Harry Potter last summer. Written by mike and posted by Liz. if you don't like it, then boo you.
1. Chapter 1

Summer 2009:

"We are gathered here today to honor the holy matrimony of

Hermione Granger and Harry Potter." said the priest. Meanwhile, the

guests were crying, because no one would suspect a muggleborn and a

half-blood to get married! But Ginny was furious because she was still

in love with Harry, but Harry doesn't like her anymore and he turned

gay for a few years and turned straight again because Ron didn't

commit to his and Harry's relationship. The priest said, "Do you, Harry

James Potter, take Hermione Jane Granger, to have and to hold, in

sickness and in health, till death do you part?" Harry answered, "I do…

NOT! HA HA HA!!!" Hermione said, "What?!?" "I'm kidding, I do, I do."

Harry said. "You're not going to commit! Just like Ron!" Hermione

Exclaimed. Harry froze. "I told you never to mention that!" he

whispered. Meanwhile, Ron looked mortified. "MAY I FINISH, DANG IT!"

The priest shouted. "Fine, fine. I do." Hermione said. "I know

pronounce you dead as a door nail," The priest said. "You may kiss the

bride." Hermione and Harry bickered all the way out of the church.

As they walked into their new house, a blue light appeared, and James

Potter was sitting on their couch. "Harry, First I would like to say how

happy I am to find that you are married. But I have to tell you

something. Hermione, do you want to know why you have magic?

Well, it is because your mother and I had done "IT" before you were

born." "I don't believe you." Hermione said. "I'll prove it. I still have

to come into my actual skin." James said. So James, Harry, Hermione,

and Emmalee, who was Hermione's mother, went onto the Maury

show to find out the truth. "When it comes to 19 year old Hermione,

James, you are the father!" Maury said. As Harry and them headed

home, Hermione realized something. "Wait a second! If you are my

father, then that makes my husband my brother!"


	2. Chapter 2

Harry Potter and the lies of people Chapter 2 (A.K.A. Summer 2009)

The secrets of Hogwarts

after harry and Hermione just found out they were brother and sister, after they got married they went

to see professor Dumbledore junior. Professor Dumbledore senior retired after all of the commotion at

Hogwarts, then died shortly after by lord voldemort, I mean, you know who, so his son is headmaster

now. "professor?" Hermione asked as they entered his office. Noone was there. Harry and Hermione

walked further into his office. The door slammed, knocking over the bookshelf next to the wall."Look!,"

Harry said pointing to an opening in the bookshelf behind the books. "lets see where it leads!" Hermione

said. They passed down the corridor and admired the pictures of past headmasters of Hogwarts. "can

you believe it? A 200 hundred foot wall and all that's on there is professor Dumbledore senior on a 3 by

4 foot poster!" Hermione exclaimed. At the end of the hallway, lied a door with steam escaping from the

edges. harry and Hermione walked in to find Dumbledore Junior and Professor McGonagall in the hot

tub naked and doing IT. Hermione ran off and harry stood there in shock and astonishment. Finally,

Harry left and stopped when he and Hermione were back in the office. "That kind of turns me on, don't

you think?" Harry asked, hoping for a good answer. "Harry, I have to tell you something. Remember

when before we went home and talked to your father and we were at the hotel and we did IT?" "Yeah,

how can I forget?" harry replied with a weird grin on his face. "well Harry, I'm pregnant." Harry's eyes

popped out of his head. (Not literally) Then McGonagall and Dumbledore Junior came out, drunk and

laughing. "I thought your father was good, but you were gr… Ms. Granger! Mr. Potter! What are you

doing here?" McGonagall asked. Hermione's eyes popped out of her head. (not literally) "you mean to

say you did IT with Professor Dumbledore AND his son?" she asked "He's not just Professor

Dumbledore's son, but mine too!" McGonagall said. "Yeah, and she's pregnant with her second child!"

Dumbledore said with excitement. "You guys are a bunch of redneck w----bags!" Harry said. Then

Hermione added, "You mean we are both pregnant?!?"


End file.
